Thursday, October 30, 2008

Sex lessons by PCK (Phua Chu Kang)

From my SO. Really nice joke, enjoy

Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius ..................

Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?

PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !

Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?

PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?

Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?

PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah

Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?

PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah ! blain, use your blainnn.........

Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love ?

PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not?

Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?

PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn . you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!

Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.

Monday, October 20, 2008

More One Liners!

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
When I was born, I was given a choice - A big d*ck or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.
A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
Great news . . . Virginity can be cured !!!
A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she... was happy with the Thing......

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Again when I was little...

it was one of the first times I had used a toilet instead of a potty. I needed a wee and, as little kids do, I pulled my trousers and pants down all the way down to my ankles but stood up. Anyway I started to pee when all of a sudden I felt my trousers move. I thought nothing of it and carried on. They moved again. I looked over my shoulder and realised that I had pooed without realising. The poo and fell and landed neatly into my pants. We didn't have Kandoo in them days...